Waiting is hard, even excruciating at times. There are seasons when it feels endless—when prayers seem unanswered, timelines unravel, and hope flickers under the weight of disappointment. You may find yourself wondering, God is good to others, but is He good to me? Does He care about the desires I’m carrying? Today’s guest knows these questions well. Kaci Nicole Harlow is a follower of Jesus, wife, mama, Christian YouTuber, writer, and speaker whose passion is to see lives transformed through knowing God, and I’m honored for her to share what she’s learned in seasons when heaven seems silent. It’s a joy to welcome Kaci to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Kaci Nicole Harlow

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When God first told Abram in Genesis 12 that he would become a great nation, he probably assumed it would happen soon.

At least, I know I would have! I picture Abram rushing home, excited to tell his wife, Sarai, and the two of them starting to talk baby names, maybe picking out some color swatches for the nursery. Sarai probably hopped on Pinterest and started dreaming up the perfect baby shower (or whatever the equivalent would have been in those days).

But then a year went by, and nothing happened. Another year . . . still nothing.

Deafening. Radio. Silence.

Years turned into decades, and still Abram and Sarai found themselves waiting. They started to wonder, Did we hear God wrong?

I used to think that when God gives visions or promises, it’s because the thing He’s hinting at will happen soon. But if the promise was going to come to pass tomorrow, why would He need to tell us today? Tomorrow would come and it would simply happen, speaking for itself.

Instead, I’ve learned that more often than not, when God gives a vision or a promise, it’s because He knows darkness is coming—a vast stretch of wilderness where we won’t be able to see a thing. By giving us the revelation ahead of time, God is giving us an opportunity to hold on to His Word and build our faith just as our circumstances are about to shift in a way that makes the fulfillment of His Word feel impossible.

All my life, I’d been so sure I would graduate from college with a ring on my finger. But there I was, years post-grad, and the only ring on my left hand was the purity ring my dad had given me when I was thirteen.

“God has so much more for you than you know. But as you step into His plans, which are far greater than yours, your lesser dreams have to die. “

God must have smiled to Himself when I told Him my plans all those years ago. I don’t think it was a malicious smile though, like, Mwahaha, if only you knew how long you’re going to have to wait. I think it was more of a soft, patient, parental sort of smile.

Like, Daughter, your perspective is so small. If only you knew how much I have in mind for you. In order for you to step into what I have for you, I’m going to have to stretch you. The stretching is going to hurt. Pain is ahead, and my heart is tender toward you. But I refuse to appease you with what you think you want when I know the more I made you for. Good stuff is coming. But it’s going to look so different from what you imagine right now.

Maybe you’re grieving a shattered timeline too, and you find yourself waiting much longer than you ever imagined. 

When you’re waiting on something God has spoken over your life—or maybe something you’re not sure He has promised to you but you deeply desire—it can be profoundly painful to feel like there’s no forward progress. If that’s where you find yourself right now, I believe what was true for me is true for you too: God has so much more for you than you know. But as you step into His plans, which are far greater than yours, your lesser dreams have to die. 

Your life might not look the way you pictured, and it might not unfold on the timeline you imagined.

“If you don’t grieve what could have been, you’ll never be able to fully step into what is—what God has for you.“

Think of Sarai: God’s plans for her were good, and they were much bigger than anything she could have dreamed up on her own. (She wanted a baby, but God birthed through her a nation.) Still, I’m sure she never imagined pinning baby shower inspo at the ripe old age of ninety (except maybe for her grandchildren). The dream of her own timeline had to die. And though it’s the good kind of dying when our dreams die to make space for the better and brighter dreams God has for us, it’s still dying. And, well, death hurts.

I just want to tell you: It’s okay to feel that hurt. It’s okay to long for the desires of your heart. It’s okay to grieve what you thought would be. In fact, I believe it’s necessary. If you don’t grieve what could have been, you’ll never be able to fully step into what is—what God has for you.

“…and God uses our waiting to change us into people who will live out His purposes for us too. He uses our waiting to destroy our sense of self-sufficiency and to teach us to depend on the only One who is truly dependable. “

Bring your emotions to God.

Pour out the desires of your heart to Him—they’re there for a reason, if only to keep you dependent on and pressing into Him in this moment. When the hurt feels overwhelming, simply whisper, “Jesus, it hurts.” When you do, know He’s holding you tightly. He’s beaming with adoration over you and anticipating the good plans He has in store.

If you’re wondering why I’ve used the names Abram and Sarai when they’re more commonly known as Abraham and Sarah, here’s why: Between the time God gave them the promise and when it was fulfilled, God changed their names. It’s cool to dig into the significance of this. Abram means “exalted father,” but his name was changed to Abraham, which means “father of nations.” God changed his name to match the promise on his life—and God uses our waiting to change us into people who will live out His purposes for us too. He uses our waiting to destroy our sense of self-sufficiency and to teach us to depend on the only One who is truly dependable. 

That’s the beauty of the darkness: In it, we learn to walk by faith, not by sight.

The God who named you and sees who you are becoming is faithful, and He will walk with you through the unknown wilderness, every step of the way.

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A Deeply Life-Giving Conversation: BellTower Stories

How do you keep hoping when God hasn’t answered yet? Ann Voskamp and Kaci Harlow discuss Kaci’s new book, So Much Better. Come join us in BellTower Stories, up in the 1896 bell tower our little Village Table church, as “the bells are the voice of the church, with tones that touch and search.” (Longfellow)

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