Want to be Formed by Love: What Shapes Us Shapes Our Families

Kayla Craig writes with a soulful, reflective honesty that invites us to seek the sacred in our everyday moments. As we journey into Spring, her words invite us to intentionally reflect on what’s shaping us and our families—what’s leaving fingerprints on our hearts, minds, and homes. With her warm wisdom, Kayla offers not only a reflection on spiritual formation but also a prayer to borrow and questions to spark meaningful family conversations. This is a piece to linger over, one that just might shape you in the best way. It’s a joy to welcome Kayla to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Kayla Craig

Adapted from Kayla’s book, Every Season Sacred

“I have something for you, but I can’t tell you what it is,” my son whispers.

He shifts his weight in excitement, his surprise on the precipice of bursting forth.

“It’s a present! For you!” he says, his eyes wide.

He gestures to a small bag. The gift bag is stapled shut, as though his art teacher knows his kindergartners are prone to revealing their crafts before it’s time for their loved ones to open their gifts.

“I’ll give you a hint!” he declares, brimming with pride.

“I made it! With clay!”

He’s not whispering anymore. His wide smile makes his face even rounder and sweeter than usual.

“That is so special,” I tell him. “But maybe you shouldn’t give me any more clues if you want to keep it a surprise.”

He nods in agreement, taking his role as creator and gift giver seriously. He takes a beat.

“I’ll just show you one last hint,” he says, unable to contain his excitement.

He snaps his mouth shut to prevent himself from letting any more words escape, and instead of speaking, he uses exaggerated pinching motions, moving his pointer fingers and thumbs together. He looks like a little lobster.

I pull him close and kiss his soft cheek. “I can’t wait to open it.”

Like generations of parents before me (and all who will come after me), I’ve been the recipient of quite a few handmade pinch pots.

These small ceramic creations adorn office bookshelves, kitchen windowsills, and bedroom nightstands. Some are large enough to hold about one earring post; others can hold tiny trinkets. They come in a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes, formed with care by little hands, their fingerprints caught in a moment in time. My collection may never end up at a Sotheby’s auction, but whenever I add another pot to the others I’ve acquired, I feel like the world’s winningest fine-art connoisseur.

When it’s time to unwrap my gift, my son beams with pride, outlining the steps it took to form his clay creation. His elementary pottery illustrates a spiritual truth: we’re created beings. 

We’re constantly being formed, each of our experiences leaving fingerprints all over us, shaping who we become.

In this season of spring and new beginnings, I wonder what it would be like to take some time to consider what’s forming us.

Where have we spent our time? Who have we been with? What have we consumed? Where have we gone? What have we done?

“We’ll never be satisfied if we let emptiness fill us and if we allow ourselves to be formed by influences that speak to the most untrue parts of us.“

Sometimes we don’t like to take the time to ask ourselves questions because we aren’t sure if we want to sit with the answers. But we ask questions like these because it helps us take stock of what and who is forming us.

I’m aware of my propensity to let myself be spiritually formed by the whims of whatever is trending.

My husband and I watched a reality dating series where contestants gazed into the camera, spilling their deepest hopes and dreams. As they shared their confessions, I realized they were all repeating the same inspirational phrases, motivational lines, and misattributed quotes. I cringed and turned to my husband. “It seems like an algorithm mashed together random memes and wrote everyone a script,” I said, unable to turn away.

While it’s easy to laugh and feel a little judgmental about the empty clichés the contestants shared with such conviction, I couldn’t help but wonder how my own consumption has formed me.

As we continued to eat popcorn and chuckle at the cheesy dating show, questions peppered my mind: Am I a regurgitation of what I’ve mindlessly allowed into my life? Is my faith an accumulation of thoughtfulness and nuance, or am I a collection of empty clichés and snarky hot takes?

As people of Christ, we should be formed by the ways of Jesus. But all too often, we’ve allowed ourselves to be formed by the wrong things.

“When we’re marked by the liberating way of Jesus, we are set free from thin faith.“

Whatever forms us leaves its fingerprints not only on us but on our families, our neighbors, and our coworkers. We’re all vulnerable to being shaped by self-serving influences, whether they’re motivational memes disguised as spiritual truth or dangerous ideologies packaged as religious fervor.

Spiritual formation isn’t something that happens to a transcendent few—it happens to all of us, all the time.

Perhaps that’s why the Bible includes dozens of references to people being like clay. It’s up to us whether we’ll be formed by God’s hand (see Isaiah 64:8).

Thin faith is hollow, leaving us constantly hungry for more.

We’ll never be satisfied if we let emptiness fill us and if we allow ourselves to be formed by influences that speak to the most untrue parts of us.

A robust understanding of God’s ways—full of justice, mercy, and humility (see Micah 6:8)—makes us people of profound peace.

When we’re marked by the liberating way of Jesus, we are set free from thin faith.

We reflect on our spiritual formation not to shame ourselves but to be discerning and to ultimately remember that we are creations held in the loving hands of our Creator.

As we become more deeply formed in goodness and truth, we learn from our mistakes.

If our children make their clay pots with care, how much more does our God desire to develop us in lovingkindness?

Borrow This Prayer:

God, You are the Maker of all things, and You have created us.

Help us to be formed in goodness and truth, not in the world’s lies.

You care deeply for our family and for families everywhere.

Help us to be mindful with the lives You have given us.

Help us to be thoughtful about the screens we watch and how we spend our time.

You have given us so much freedom.

Please grant us wisdom to make choices that honor You, ourselves, and others.

Amen.

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Borrow These Questions

In Every Season Sacred, Kayla provides weekly reflection questions to help families bring faithful conversation into their everyday lives. Pick a few to share around the dinner table this week.

What happens when people are formed by church culture instead of by Christ?

Tell about a time you made something out of clay. What does it feel like to mold something like that?

How is God like a potter?

How does it make you feel when you think about being created by God?

Do you agree that everything that forms you leaves fingerprints? Why or why not?

How are you being formed by the people around you?

How can social media form us spiritually?

What happens when people are formed by politics instead of by Christ?

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