If Christmas Makes You Question Your Worth, & If You’re Enough, (& About the Rockefeller Christmas Tree)

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As the first snow fell on the tall spruce trees that lined the long highway of a weekend road trip a few weeks ago, my daughter turned to me and asked, “Mama…. what’s your most favorite childhood memory?”

And as we drove along the ribbon of road through the falling snow, I could see it in my mind again, as a child, that road we drove every Christmas, coming up through snow blanketed trees on highway 45, coming down from the little village of Baltimore, and around the bend to Centerton, and there in the dark of Grandma and Grandpa’s front window, was always Grandma’s little glowing ceramic Christmas tree, lit up and welcoming us all home…

And up and down every street this time of year, everywhere you go, you can see all the shimmering trees in all the bay windows, decked out and garlanded trees. Or there’s the stacks of snow-dusted trees outside the grocery store, waiting to be chosen and taken home…. to welcome all home home for the holidays.

And every single one of those Christmas trees come from one unassuming, vulnerable seed.

All of which makes me think, as the snow keeps falling on the all trees, of how, 10 years ago, back in 2016, growing in the backyard of Graig and Angie Eichler’s backyard in Oneonta, New York, was this seed that had grown slowly but surely over 7 decades into a tree. A tree that the Eichlers saw as an eyesore of little worth. That’s what Mr Eichler had said, as he shook his head:

“It was just a tree in our backyard that was kind of a nuisance. It dropped needles in our gutters. We couldn’t grow grass under it. The roots were coming up so you had to go around them if you went in the backyard. We weren’t attached to it at all.”

For the Eichler’s, the seed had grown into a tree that certainly had no worth.

A nuisance in the way.

Not attached to it in any way.

Mr. Eichler would just have been as relieved to get rid of the tree, because, the way he put it, “We were more concerned that if it were ever struck by lightening or snapped or blew over it would destroy our house.”

Now the Eichlers could have turned to local guy who sells chopped firewood and ask him:

“What’s this tree actually worth?”

If we plant our worth in our achievements, or if we turn our worth toward appearance, or if we root our worth in approvals, then our worth is at the mercy of all the winds and people who change.

And the local firewood guy might have shrugged:

“Well, once it’s cut down, split and stacked, I could get a few cords out of it. I don’t know— it’s probably not worth more than a few hundred bucks?

Or the Eichlers could have turned to their local florist, who makes wreaths and garlands for the Christmas season and asked them:

“So what do you think…. What is this tree really worth?”

And the florist may have looked up at the seed, that had turned into a whole tree of branches, and said:

“Well, I don’t see anything real grand, just a bunch of greenery. I guess I could trim the tree down and make wreaths, centerpieces, swags for banisters. I don’t know – it wouldn’t be worth to me even a grand?”

Or maybe the Eichlers could head down to the local lumber store, and asked the guy behind the counter: “So what do you think this tree that’s a bit of a nuisance worth?”

And the guy at the local lumber store might not even come to take a look at the tree, but just said:

“Look, it’s one tree. And the hassle to cut it down when it’s so close to your house, and try to haul it off to get milled, to get who knows how many rough planks? That’s not really our lane or main interest and for us, it would be more bother than it’s worth.”

But it turns out?

Back in the windy spring of 2016, on one random Saturday morning in late April, a guy name Erik Pauze, was driving through the neighborhood, and turned up on the Eichler’s front porch, knocking on their front door.

And Mr. Eichler? He didn’t think it was worth even going to the door, but after no one answered his knocking, Erik Pauze, went and sat in his car, waiting till someone came home, waiting till he saw Mrs Eichler coming up the street.

And after chatting with Erick Pauze, Mrs. Eichler came into the house to tell Mr. Eichler a truly mind-blowing story.

The knock at their door earlier, that Mr. Eichler hadn’t even saw any worth in answering, had been Erik Pauze, who had been driving from the address of one big tree tree that had been submitted for his consideration for a particular grand Christmas tree -– to another potential Christmas tree that had been considered for his consideration…

When, as Mrs. Eichler put it, Erik Pauze “saw a bunch of evergreens over in our neighborhood,” Eichler said.

And Erik Pauze had turned and headed in their direction. And that’s when Mrs. Eichler told Mr. Eichler who Erik Pauze was:

Erik Pauze was the head gardener of the Rockefeller Center. Driving around looking for the most iconic Christmas tree in the world.

And Mrs. Eichler turned to Mr. Eichler and she said ‘You’ll never believe it. The head gardener from the Rockefeller Center thinks our tree — is worthy to be the Rockefeller Christmas tree this year.”

That’s what the news reported that year: “Eichler was surprised that his gawky tree, which had no lower branches, was such a beauty in disguise.“

The same tree that the Eichlers thought to be a nuisance in the way, that they weren’t attached to in anyway — was the very same tree that Erik Pauze, The Finder of every year’s Rockefeller Christmas Tree, thought was worth being the most beautiful Christmas tree in the world!

A tree worthy of being dressed in in more than 50,000 lights, a tree worth being crowned with a 900-pound sparkling crystal star, a singular tree glorious enough to turn that sky-scraper stone canyon of the city of New York, into something more like a bit of a cathedral of light.

A tree worthy of being The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree in New York City, whose lighting is a ceremony televised to hundreds of millions around this whole spinning globe, that every day holiday season will be seen by nearly 125 million people, almost 500,000 people every single day that it’s lit, all walking past the plaza to see one of the world’s most famous iconic Christmas tree in all its glowing glory.

The very same tree.

To the firewood man in the woodlot, that same tree might just be cheap fuel.

To the florist, that same tree might be nothing more than disposal decoration.

When you are truly seen by the right people — you move from feeling worthless, to being valued for your infinite worth.

To the lumber yard manager, that one seed that had become a tree, might actually even be a tree more trouble than it’s actual worth.

And to the owners of the tree, the Eichler’s themselves? They saw that seed that had grown into a huge tree? To be more nuisance than any real worth.

But to Eirk Pauze, head gardner of the Rockefeller Center – that seed that become a whole tree that was worthy of being the most beautiful, beloved Christmas tree in the world, worthy of nearly 125 million people to come and be in awe and wonder of it all.

The seed that grew into a tree hadn’t changed to somehow become more worthy, or worked for it, or performed, or turned itself inside out to somehow impress or be acceptable.

The tree hadn’t changed; all that had changed was who the person was who looked on the tree.

When you are truly seen by the right people — you move from feeling worthless, to being valued for your infinite worth.

When you’re with people who see you with a certain, sacred sight, you don’t have to produce enough, create enough, work hard enough, make enough — to be more than worth enough.

When you’re with people who see you with eyes seeking the good and the the glorious, you don’t have strive to find approval, or find acceptance, or find belonging, or find enough back pats or check marks — to somehow earn enough of your worth.

To know your right worth — all you have to do — is turn the right way, toward the right face.

If we plant our worth in our achievements –

Or if we turn our worth toward how we appear or how we make things all the things appear–

Or if we root our worth in approvals –

Then our worth is at the mercy of all the winds and people who change.

But when your worth is found in unchanging, unwavering Love who comes down for you — your worth can never change.

To know your right worth — all you have to do — is turn the right way, toward the right face.

The right place to find your worth is always before Jesus’ face.

The right place, and the right people, always see your real worth in deeply right ways.

When you don’t feel like you’re enough, when you feel worthless, it only means that you just need to turn away from all the wrong places —and turn toward the right place… and the right face.

Toward the face of Love Himself.

The right place to find your worth is always before Jesus’ face.

Only when you turn toward the face of Love Himself, can you rest in your real worth.

And it turns out?

You don’t have to make Christmas, produce Christmas, perform Christmas, or work hard enough to create Christmas. You simply have to stand at your Christmas Tree and turn toward the loving face of the One who came for Calvary’s Tree —- and see how the One who is worthy of it all, loves you unconditionally and defines all your true worth.

You don’t have to make Christmas, produce Christmas, perform Christmas, or work hard enough to create Christmas. You simply have to stand at your Christmas Tree and turn toward the loving face of the One who came for Calvary’s Tree —- and see how the One who is worthy of it all, loves you unconditionally and defines all your true worth.

As Christmas trees dance with lights all around the world tonight, as more than half a million people come just today to gaze on the glow of the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, there is space to slow and turn and see….

There is a way to make space for the sacred seed of that One born of a woman, the long awaited seed of Abraham and David, Jesus the Messiah, the small babe who was first laid in the wood of a manger… and then, rooted infinitely deep in Love, that same Jesus, who is Love come down, He went and laid Himself on the word of Calvary’s tree, and that seed who is Jesus, He falls into the ground and dies — to give every vulnerable soul their infinite worth, and true and unending, infinite, abundant life.

Jesus is the only One who has ever seen such worth in you — that He has loved you to death — and then loved you back to life, the realest, abundant life.

Mrs. Eichler had said that about Erik Pauze stumbling across their tree while enroute through their neighborhood, looking for another tree.

“… the head gardener of the Rockefell Center [just] stumbled across it. It’s almost like the tree found him.”

There are lit trees everywhere tonight, us all so close to Christmas now.

And the Babe who came down, He came for a Tree, and He comes to find us, and give us the greatest gift of all our unwavering worth.

And we stand in the dark, next to our twinkling trees, with our face turned toward the face of the One who went to Calvary’s tree — and it’s our hearts that are all aflame and lit with love.

Us all welcomed home for the holidays to Him who is our safe hom, who is our sure Love.

And this, and Him is more, more, more than enough.