Hope can be a slippery slope to anyone grieving a collapsed dream. Jenn Hesse knows the fallout that comes from seeing negative pregnancy tests year after year. God led her through that prolonged heartache to show her the goodness of waiting on and with him. Jenn and her coauthor, Kelley Ramsey, have walked with thousands of women and couples facing infertility, miscarriage, adoption, and childlessness. Together with their team at Waiting in Hope Ministries, they comfort, encourage, and equip the hurting to find true hope in Christ. It’s a grace to welcome Jenn to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Jenn Hesse
Excerpt from Waiting in Hope: 31 Reflections for Walking With God Through Infertility

The sun sank below the dusty window ledge. I didn’t bother getting up off the couch to turn on the lights. All I wanted was to stay curled up in my husband’s arms, our toy poodle nestled against my neck. For hours, our little family sat there, grieving in the dark.

Going through a failed round of IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) crushed me. After months of trying other fertility treatments, my husband and I reluctantly decided to do IVF as a last-ditch effort at pregnancy.

Knowing the procedure had a 50/50 chance of success, I wasn’t planning to rush out and buy a ton of baby clothes. I had prepared for the test to come back negative. I had not prepared to get a call from the doctor saying, “We didn’t get any embryos.”

No embryos. No baby. No hope.

This is where I hit rock bottom.

Though I had been a Christian for a long time, infertility led me to doubt God. He had the power to give me a baby but chose not to.

Exasperated, I asked him, “Why are you doing this, Lord? Have you forgotten me? Do you even care?” 

In despair, I cried with the psalmist,You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths” (Psalm 88:6). 

God gradually rescued me from that dark place, though not in a way I could expect. He had to lift my eyes from my pain to see the needs around me.

“This is one way God gives purpose to our pain––by working through us to comfort others.”

My outlook shifted the day I met Don and Pam.

Our paths crossed at an adoption seminar where the married couple shared their story. When they were going through the adoption process, God gave them the idea to start an infertility support group. What began as a handful of people gathered at their church eventually grew into a citywide ministry.

As Don and Pam spoke, I heard the passion in their voices. It was clear that leading the support group had given them purpose in their struggles.

For the first time in two-and-a-half years, I felt a spark of hope.

Finally, here was something I could do with my grief. The thought of helping people brought exciting possibilities. If God could use Don and Pam to encourage those hurting, maybe he could use me too.

This is one way God gives purpose to our pain––by working through us to comfort others.

The God of all comfort doesn’t leave us to ache alone. Instead, our Father draws close to us with compassion, applying his mercies like balm on our wounds.

Paul explained this in 2 Corinthians 1:3–4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

The God of all comfort doesn’t leave us to ache alone.

Instead, our Father draws close to us with compassion, applying his mercies like balm on our wounds. As God comforts us, he wants us to pass the comfort to others. We receive so we can give.

Paul received this kind of comfort in all types of affliction. He was beaten, imprisoned, stoned, shipwrecked, and almost starved. Throughout his near-death experiences, Paul believed his suffering was for the sake of God’s people. “If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer” (2 Corinthians 1:6).

It’s not through our strength but through our suffering that others see hope.

I love how Ann Voskamp described our calling in brokenness: “He’s inviting me to heal, but also to see my most meaningful calling: to be his healing to the hurting. My own brokenness, driving me into Christ’s, is exactly where I can touch the brokenhearted.”[1]

This is God’s invitation to us.

“It’s not through our strength but through our suffering that others see hope.”

He says, Come to my Son, who was broken for you. As you receive comfort from him, your brokenness will become my instrument of mercy to others.

When we’re feeling broken, beat down, and forsaken in the pit we can trust that God has more in store. Our pain could be someone else’s path to Christ.

Later in my journey, I met with one of the pastors at my church to ask about starting an infertility support group. To my surprise, he told me another woman had just brought up the same idea. That woman became my dear friend and coleader of the first infertility support group in our community. Her name is Kelly.

Eight years later, the Holy Spirit nudged me to form an online community for encouragement during infertility. As I was doing research, I came across a ministry that offered in-person and online support groups. The founder and I messaged back and forth, praying and dreaming of what God could do through us working together.

“When we’re feeling broken, beat down, and forsaken in the pit we can trust that God has more in store.”

She is my coauthor, Kelley Ramsey—cofounder (with her husband, Justin) of Waiting in Hope Ministries.

This is what happens when you become God’s broken instrument. You get to watch the Spirit move in ways only he can orchestrate.

Whatever struggle you’re walking through right now, you can be sure God will place opportunities for you to help others.

Trust me, you’ll be blessed if you take them. Serve the hurting people you meet. Give from the reserve you don’t think you have, which comes from the Spirit dwelling within you. He’ll help you be someone’s lifeline in the pit.

[1] Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2016), 221.

Excerpt from Waiting in Hope: 31 Reflections for Walking With God Through Infertility. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved.

Jenn Hesse is the content director of Waiting in Hope Ministries. She leads local Bible studies and has a passion for shepherding hurting women. Kelley Ramsey is the founder and visionary of Waiting in Hope Ministries. She is a speaker and leader with a heart for seeing women come to love and live for the Lord more intimately.

Their book, Waiting in Hope: 31 Reflections for Walking with God Through Infertility, gives women an uplifting, accessible companion through the journey of infertility. Filled with biblical wisdom, testimonies, and personal narrative, Waiting in Hope helps women believe they can live a life of purpose regardless of how their wait ends.

[ Our humble thanks to Thomas Nelson for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]