As a hope-giver Kellie Haddock lives on mission to help others encounter the Living God – our source of Hope – in tangible ways so we can experience the fullness of healing and redemption. She has lived through tragedy and found joy on the other side. Her music is an invitation to a heart journey with the Holy Spirit in a powerful way that can meet us through all life brings, cheering us onward and upward with grace and love. It’s a grace to welcome Kellie to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Kellie Haddock

God’s faithfulness is NOT contingent on what happens.

Faithful is WHO He is so much more than it’s what He does.

Open a window, let the bad air out
Let’s talk about what is making you doubt
You’ve been trying to climb up a waterfall
Anything to make sense of it all

Have you ever had an experience where it felt like God was unkind to you? Have you felt abandoned by God? Is the loss, the wound, the cost of the tragedy so deep that redemption feels impossible? Is the waiting and the fight for hope bringing you to the edge of your breaking point?

Your heart feels broken like a rundown shack
That’s the very place you will find Me at
I am still in your midst when you resist
I love you so I persist

God is with you. Yes, even there.

Faith is more than feelings. He’s in your midst – actively at work for YOUR GOOD. God is redeeming ALL things because that’s who He is. And though you might not be able to see it or feel it right now, that is okay, because His faithfulness is NOT contingent on our feelings or our experiences.

“His faithfulness is NOT contingent on our feelings or our experiences.”

Isaiah 40:31 says, “They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

So often we are quick to identify others who are mounting up with wings like eagles – they seem able to rise up through any hardship. We can identify the miracle of God’s work in their lives. But when we look at ourselves, it feels like we are weighed down by the gravity of all we’re facing. We can feel like failures, maybe even like God is failing us.

We can see other’s running, yet are so keenly aware of how close we are to fainting.

We are so weary. Life is hard.

BUT…

Just like there is a miracle in the rising up again, and just like there is a miracle in the running and not feeling weary…there is ALSO just as much of a miracle in the NOT FAINTING.

When you are doing all you can to simply stand – that is enough. God is providing for you there. He is helping you even in that moment when your strength is wavering. You are NOT FAINTING. He is persisting in His love for you and His ability to perfectly provide.

My love is like the ocean
Its waves are always in motion
As sure as the tide you will find
It’s more than an emotion
I’m healing all that’s broken
My love is like the ocean
I’m washing over you

A few months ago my husband had quintuple heart bypass surgery twice in the same day. There were complications, it took 14 hours and he was minutes away from a very different outcome. As I paced the halls of the hospital praying, God kept reminding me: Even now I am faithful, and no matter what happens I will still be faithful to provide all you need because My faithfulness is not contingent on your circumstances.

“While the pain was so often unbearable, I cannot find a single moment where God abandoned me.”

This assurance rocked my faith to the core and redefined faithfulness. You see, I was already a widow before. I’ve walked with God through intense loss after a car accident killed my first husband and severely injured our baby boy.

I’ve climbed the mountain of grief and I know how much every step hurts. But I’ve also known firsthand God’s faithfulness. While the pain was so often unbearable, I cannot find a single moment where God abandoned me. Not even in the moment when that car hit our car and life fell apart. Even then, yes, even then God was still with me pushing back the darkness so that I was not consumed.

Before you feel better you might feel worse
Sometimes the healing hurts
I’m moving heaven and I’m moving earth
Because that’s how much your healing’s worth

Friend, I don’t know what challenges you’re facing but I know our God. The fact that you are still here, still standing, still not fainting, reading these words RIGHT NOW is a testament of His faithfulness to you. He is moving heaven and moving earth – actively at work in your life because that’s how much your healing is worth.

I am mending every wound
Be set free in what is true
The truth is that I never left you
When you were hurt, it hurt me too

When the surgeon met me in the hallway during the 8th hour of my husband’s surgery to update me on the tenuous situation, I knew I was staring down the barrel of possibly becoming a widow again. And I knew, either way, the road ahead would be hard. If grief was the next door I’d walk through – that would be impossible in my own strength. But even if my husband survived, the road of recovery and the level of care he’d need over the next months would be intense.

In order for my husband’s heart to be healed, first it had to be broken. And while the surgeon was expertly skilled at mending the wounds in his heart, it hurt. It hurt deeply. His recovery was painful and intense. I held his hand and watched him feel that pain. But that pain was essential to his healing. It was the only path forward if he was to live again. He had to go through the pain to experience the healing of his heart.

I see you’re scared, but I’m not afraid
I see your pain and I’m leaning in
I see your wounds, my heart is moved
Nothing can keep my love from you
I always have, I always do
I always will love you

God is an expert heart surgeon. He knows just what your heart needs for healing. He sees your pain. He sees your wounds. He embraces you with love because that’s who He is. He’s not surprised by your story. He’s not surprised by your doubt. He’s not surprised by your worry. He is leaning in. Nothing you do, nothing that’s been done to you… NOTHING can keep His love from you.

“Nothing you do, nothing that’s been done to you… NOTHING can keep His love from you.”

So leave your burdens here with me
I can see your heart is softening
You’ve carried this long enough
I am with you now, I always was

Embrace the invitation of healing extended to you now as you soak in these words that are saturated in grace and love for you. Bring your pain, bring your doubts, bring your disappointments and your questions, bring everything to the cross of Jesus. He is not surprised by your story. God’s intricately redeeming every moment and mending every wound like the expert heart surgeon that He is. It might hurt, it might take time, it might look different than you expect. But that is okay. There is a miracle in the ‘not fainting’ and you have not fainted.

You are still here, and God is still with you right now in this moment. His love is washing over you.

My love is like the ocean
Its waves are always in motion
As sure as the tide you will find
It’s more than an emotion
I’m healing all that’s broken
My love is like the ocean
I’m washing over you

Kellie Haddock is a singer, songwriter, wife and mom. A former widow, Kellie has lived through tragedy and found hope and joy on the other side. Her music draws from real-life stories of beauty, heartache and hope.

Like the Ocean is from Kellie’s newest album, Orchids From Fire – inspired by the wild orchid that only grows after a fire. This powerful collection of anthems will invigorate your soul with an honesty that sees the struggle and a perspective that points to God’s redemption and beauty. Listen everywhere you stream music.