Dear Lovely You,

who doesn’t want to do that hard thing in the New Year,
who doesn’t want to move your body or walk on the treadmill
or go for a gentle jog,
or sort through the closets,
or tackle the garage, or the piles of paperwork,
or the project that’s hanging over you like a ton of bricks,
or do that big thing that feels like an impossible thing—

okay, yeah, boy, do I hear you.

The only way to a life of real possibility — is to keep taking on real responsibility.

It doesn’t matter a hill of sprouting beans if you’re 9 and stomping your feet, or 16 and slamming doors, or 45 and distracting on your phone —hard things just keep calling us because we’re meant to answer to higher and better things.

As I cleaned out the fridge this week and decluttered a closet and hauled out a bag of kids’ clothes for the thrift store, I smiled that I get to do these things:

The only way to a life of real possibility — is to keep taking on real responsibility.

Opt out of the weight of real responsibility — and you forfeit a life that holds a lot of real possibility.

And honestly: You’re meant to do hard and holy things because they are the next thing —- to get to the best thing.

You’re made to do hard and holy things —because there’s no other way to get to the happy and holy things. I keep gently comforting myself with the refrain: The easy life can never get you to a good life…

I wrote it up there on the chalkboard in the kitchen years ago, and the kids and I all memorized it, and it’s still true, and it’s hard, but there’s a brave hope in it:

Life is Pain — and you get to choose: the pain of missing out on what you want to do right now… or the pain of missing out on what you want most. The pain of discipline — or the pain of disappointment. You either choose the Pain of Hard Things or the Pain of Heartbreak over Missed Things.

Life is Pain — and you get to choose: the pain of missing out on what you want to do right now… or the pain of missing out on what you want most.

Nothing good happens without doing hard things. No music gets played without discipline. No games get won. No finish lines get crossed. No freedom gets tasted. And you want that more. 

When I used to ask our half dozen kids to do something, how many times would I hear: “Yeah, Mom, I know.”

And it became my refrain of response: “Knowing isn’t the same as doing.” Knowing why it’s important to do some thing isn’t the same as actually doing the important thing.

Knowing what’s best, isn’t the same as actually doing what’s best.

Brilliant doesn’t matter, if you don’t get up out of bed.

Talent doesn’t mean a thing, if you let Fear of Failure be some terrorist that imprisons you.

Possibility doesn’t add up to anything, if you get addicted to perfectionism because perfectionism is slow death by SELF-PARALYSIS.

Procrastination is trying to protect you from potential failure, intervening with all kinds of distractions, temptations, and interruptions — until it just pushes you to pull out all your potential and give up.

 But walking with you into this new year is also Perfect Love Himself, who kicks all your fear of failure to the curb. 

There is His Perfect Love who accepts you 100% before you perform even 1%, and there is His Perfect Love who speaks Protection and Peace and promises the Power of the Holy Spirit —so you can fire perfectionism, so your procrastination will quit too.

When I look back at the last decade and a half? We didn’t move anywhere.

Things can change. People can change, stories can change.

We bought 1 used mini van that’s now just turned over 330,000 km.
My babies started leaving home.
They started coming back home holding someone else’s hand, putting rings on other hands, walked down aisles and started having babies of their own and holding those little hands.

In the last decade and a half: We brought home and settled a refugee family from Syria — their oldest is in law at university now.
We brought home a family from the Congo and brought home one baby from China — who is now entering double digits and is the most loving little Aunt to little nephews and a niece now.
One child has lived with Type 1 diabetes and daily insulin for over a decade, another child has braved 2 open heart surgeries and wears her scars like medals of hope hard won.

In the last decade and a half, I wrecked things I couldn’t repair. I scarred people irrevocably, I fought self-harming went through a season where I nearly died by self-loathing repeatedly.

I survived literal heart failure.

I stopped living without boundaries.
I stopped living like I had no agency.
I stopped every day to count my gifts and gratitudes.
I started therapy. I processed complicated, ambiguous grief, and deep, chronic loss. I started spiritual direction. I started showing up vulnerably in a Confessional Community with 6 other committed women, and we’re still showing up daily, monthly, annually — 5 years later.
I started practicing daily SACRED prayer.
I started long listens of the Word.

I started new interests: shepherding a flock of 25 sheep, learning to shear sheep, learning to weave.

I started serving community, and our vulnerable neighbors, with our family, through a 1896 little stone church on the main street of our town.

I started grad school at Wheaton, graduated with my masters, started again, and am now in the middle of my doctorate in ministry at Talbot Seminary.

I started walking with a goal of 25,000 steps a day. I’ve come back to daily rowing.
I started practicing a Glory Soak outside every day.

Nothing good happens without doing hard things.

I started forgiving myself – because Jesus already has.

Turn the pages of His Word & your life can turn around.
Put one step in front of the other & you can have another life.

Things can change. People can change, stories can change.

When you rest in Perfect Love — discipline supernaturally emerges in you, because you’re being a disciple of Perfect Love —- you’re following supernatural Perfect Love.

And Perfect Love says you don’t to have show anyone up —you just have to show up.

Perfect Love says you don’t have to impress anyone —you just have to press on.

Perfect Love says when you mess up — He’ll pick you up… and when you can’t carry on, He’ll carry you.

Turn the pages of His Word & your life can turn around. Put one step in front of the other & you can have another life.

The woman staring back at me from the mirror at the beginning of this new year, she’s moving forward to do hard things by the holy grace of the One who can miraculously turn around all kinds of things.

So, dear Lovely Kid, Trying Friend, Tired You, who doesn’t want to practice that thing, 
clean up that thing,
study for that thing,
sweat on that thing,
or do that big thing that feels like an impossible thing —
You can bravely do the next thing, because God’s got this thing.

There’s snow down in the woods, all down the road this morning, the ice clinging at the edge of things —- and you can feel it if you turn your face toward the sun —-

all those hard things melting in the heat of a greater and perfect warmth.

When You want to change things, start with the two small things — that literally change everything: Thankfulness & Prayerfulness  SACRED Prayer: 90 Days into Deeper Intimacy with God and Gifts and Gifts and Gratitudes: A Gratitude Journal for a Year of One Thousand Gifts

Gifts and Gratitudes

If you’re seeking deeper peace, in a world of tender pain…. if you’re looking for hope in the midst of all kinds of hurt… beginning this daily practice of THANKFULNESS, with the best little gratitude journal, Gifts & Gratitudes, helps you see the way forward. 

With spacious lines to name three gifts each day, and uniquely formatted to daily see how God has shown up with gifts on this day of the month, on all the previous months, Gifts & Gratitudes gently helps trace God’s goodness and grow JOY!

When you don’t know what or who to count on tomorrow… if you start counting Gifts & Gratitudes–it changes everything and your eyes… and heart… begin to open to Who you can always count on…. especially on the hardest days.

Sacred Prayer

Real prayer isn’t so much about changing God’s mind, but about finding God’s heart, and letting His heart change our minds —which changes our whole life!

Prayer, communion, and connection with God is a life-changing discipline and gift. SACRED prayer will strengthen your heart by:

Take this sacred journey of prayer with us over the course of 90 days and be in awe of how God moves in your life and in your heart!

When you need hope, the first place to look is by getting down on your knees.