Dear Child of my heart…
There is a world where Mother’s Day is the day where mothers take a moment to pause to awe in the miracle that they ever got to be one at all.
A day where this mother realizes I might never have held you… might never have belonged to you …might never have looked into your eyes and known that I was going to love you straight right through everything, till my very last breath.
I might never have gotten to be your home — and you may never have known how my heart’s always gone with you, wherever you go.
Love isn’t about meeting fantasy expectations but meeting each other with grace.
Sure, some may swoon over swaddled tiny humans, or light up in the face of big-eyed little people, but I don’t want to go back to a younger or different version of you. Back to that giggling babe you once were who made my heart right erupt, or back to that lispy toddler who crawled up in my lap to take my face in chubby hands and tell me all the breathless things…
Because when I look into your eyes, I see all the ages and faces you’ve ever been and you are whole words to me and I’ve been the enthralled, front row witness to every single version of you and I’ll never stop wanting to see more of your brave becoming.
Because the way I see you always in my world:
You are a star who is not small
to anyone who orbits your love blazing through it all.
You are a constellation in my sky,
whose love connected all the dots so I could see how everything is drawing the shape of grace across the dark.
You are one rare story that has to be told by the God who so believes in you, He’ll move into you to keep writing hope on all your impossible walls, who keeps raising the sun over you, because He’s intent on raising all His dreams for you.
Love isn’t about becoming the figment of someone’s imagination— love is about becoming like Jesus to each other.
And sure, frankly, maybe there were more than a few days when you wished I was somehow different — and maybe, true, there were a day or two when I wished you were somehow different too?
But you and I, we’ve been down more than a few winding roads together, and we’ve arrived… at that lookout where we can finally see the view we’ve both long been looking for:
Love isn’t about meeting fantasy expectations but meeting each other with grace.
Love isn’t about becoming the figment of someone’s imagination— love is about becoming like Jesus to each other.
Love lets go of expectations so we can hold on to each other.
The work of every parent is to now give the best they know how — and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.
And holding you has held together parts of me, and growing you up has been a needed growing of me, and getting to be a witness to your life has been the honor of my life that will never stop changing me all of my life. And there are so many things about me that I wish I could go back to change for you.
The times I failed to show up in the ways you’d needed, failed to show up so you felt seen, or showed up but in ways that let you down — I ache to go back and show you the comfort of Christ and the delight of God in you.
And then there were the times I failed to do the most important work of being human and find ways to emotionally regulate, the times I wasn’t your calm and I was part of generational trauma I never wanted to exacerbate, the times I didn’t love you with all my attention and didn’t treat you as I would Christ – I am here saying more than I’m sorry – I am saying I’m committed to doing better from now on into forever.
It’s the tender heartbeat of honest motherhood:
Please forgive me of the sins in my own life that I didn’t slay, that you now have to daily wrestle in your own life to the death…
Forgive me for ever speaking to you in ways that didn’t express your infinite worth in the eyes of God.
And please forgive your mother for not being more like your Abba Father.
The forever work of a parent isn’t to take credit for your children, or take condemnation for your children, but to prayerfully keep taking your children to Christ no matter what
I got so much wrong, but maybe: Motherhood isn’t so much about getting it all right — it’s about you and I getting to be on this planet together at the same time, it’s about you and I getting to taste His amazing grace together, it’s about you and I getting to share life together in a way that’s singular and surreal and a bit sublime and and us doing this sacred work together:
The work of every parent is to now give the best they know how —
and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.
Every moment compounds and what if all our moments filled with grace?
And the forever work of a parent isn’t to take credit for your children, or take condemnation for your children, but to prayerfully keep taking your children to Christ no matter what — and I promise to always be your greatest prayer warrior and love you every day on my knees.
Every moment compounds and what if we all filled more of the moments with the power of prayer?
It’s the prayers for our people that we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of soup, the washing of dishes, they are what survive fire.
With you – nothing was really a sacrifice, but only more ways to love you.
There is a world where Mother’s Day is the day where mothers pause to awe in the miracle that they ever got to be one at all – and simply say:
With you – nothing was really a sacrifice, but only more ways to love you.
With you – there’s always grace and gratitude and prayers because this is how we can speak the language of love wherever we are.
With you – everything’s been nothing short of a miraculous gift.
With you, with you, with you…. always with you.
My heart for yours,
my walk with yours,
my life bound to yours,
till my last breath, then always and forever.
And the gift of getting to be your mom is all the thanks I’ll ever need.
Free Gifts for You or Any Woman Who Longs for More Joy & Prayer in Her Life
(Is there really a better (free!) gift?)
Every brave heart, every mom, every woman in every season:
Who doesn’t want to get the free gift right now of more Joy, more prayer?
Gather all your women and make your own prayer and gratitude boards! The perfect girl’s night life-changing activity for friends, a youth group, a small group, college friends, room mates, a family!
Or send the link to your men, your people, and let the them print out this whole free package and gift you the free gift of a your own Free Prayer Board or Gratitude Board — & give you the gift of more gratitude to God, more joy in God, more prayer with God!
