It never ceases to amaze me how so many of our stories have similar threads. We look into faces different from ours, hear names we’ve not heard before—and yet, we still sense something familiar. When daughters of God crack open the pages of their lives to one another, we often recognize a line, a phrase, a familiar arc of loss, shame, and escape. Martha and Stephanie know this all too well—and they also know the healing God can bring. It’s a joy to welcome them to the farm’s table…

Guest Post by Martha Ackerman and Stephanie Logan Segel

We get to interact with women most of the world had forgotten, because they are out of our sight: those behind bars. We get to see their smiles and hear their stories. And one story we’ll never forget is Dawn’s.

“Vulnerability changed my life.”

Dawn was betrayed by the people who should have protected her. When Dawn was a little girl, her grandfather molested her. 

Confused and afraid, she confided in her mother that something bad had happened. Her mama’s response: “Stop telling lies.”

Little Dawn was left to conclude that the things being done to her were okay, that all families did them. But when news broke of six additional family members he was abusing—and a pregnancy that had come as a result—Dawn realized that what had felt like darkness truly was. 

She felt guilty for not exposing his abuse and angry that her mother hadn’t believed her. As the darkness threatened to swallow her, Dawn ran hard after staying numb, exposing her body for money and emptying her mind with drugs. 

Dawn’s meth habit lasted 30 years and eventually led her to prison. The days behind bars stretched long, and a cellmate told her drawing helped pass the time. To Dawn’s surprise, the pencil in her hand felt like an old friend. 

Then she heard about Create: New Beginnings, our in-prison program that uses art projects—completed in community—to help women face difficult memories and complicated emotions. 

From the very beginning, Dawn could feel anger simmering barely below the surface. But what she didn’t expect was the sadness and the longing. 

One day, she painted a picture symbolizing her relationship with her son, who hasn’t spoken to her in years—a set of hands, just barely touching. As Dawn spread colors onto the canvas, she let her heart spill out. She painted the knowledge that her son loves her despite his silence. She painted the longing for what could be. 

Halfway through the 10-week class, Dawn underwent an unexpected gallbladder surgery. Her classmates rallied around to take care of her, decorating her cell and checking on her every day. And then—when she was ready—Dawn shared her most secret story—the story that started everything. 

“… healing comes from spilling—whether paint, secrets, or both. And in the midst of the mess, she met the One who makes beauty from ashes—and He is the One changing everything. “

“Vulnerability changed my life,” she said. “When I started talking about these things, it was hard—and it’s still hard. I still cry. But the more I talk about it, the less it hurts.” 

Her words bring us so much joy because she gets it. What Dawn has learned through artwork and through friendship is that healing comes from spilling—whether paint, secrets, or both. And in the midst of the mess, she met the One who makes beauty from ashes—and He is the One changing everything. 

Dawn is still behind bars, but she’s not standing still. She’s working on forgiving her mama now. It’s not easy, but Dawn says she longs to restore their relationship one day. 

“I know that she’s not saved,” Dawn told us. “She’s going to be 71 when I get out, and I want to make sure she goes to heaven, no matter what it takes.” 

Stories like Dawn’s remind us that Create: New Beginnings was God’s idea—and we’re floored that we got to be a part. When we created this program four years ago, we it could help women heal. As artists, we had felt the restoration of our own hearts through the act of creation. 

But we didn’t realize how far-reaching its impact would be, how many lives would be touched by its rippling circles of wholeness.

What we’ve also realized is that although we don’t all end up serving prison sentences, we all know feelings of pain, guilt, betrayal, and anger. We all have moments we’d rather forget. Longings we’d rather push down. Secrets we’d like to keep locked away. 

Whether we are in prison or not, many of us have similar questions about life, like… 

Who are we? 

Who can we trust with our stories?

How do we become better and stronger? 

How do we begin to heal from the pain in our lives?

Every single one of us can benefit from the healing power of art, whether we’ve experienced great trauma or had relatively safe lives. That’s why we created the book Create: New Beginnings for women’s small groups “on the outside.”

Just like the workshops Dawn experienced, this program offers a safe space for women to share their journeys and hear others’ experiences. The ten weeks of artistic projects and reflections explore the following themes…

Vulnerability: We identify the difference between what we show people on the outside and how we actually feel on the inside.

Forgiveness: We release bitterness and begin the journey to forgive.

Reconciliation: We think critically about a specific relationship that needs to be repaired.

Emotions: We identify and name them, both positive and negative.

Empathy: We share honest and compassionate appreciation for one another.

Shame: We revisit experiences that made us ashamed and determine why.

Self-doubt: We silence inner voices that make us feel less than others.

Pride: We compare healthy and unhealthy pride, considering what humility truly means.

Accountability: We take responsibility for a time when our actions hurt someone.

Courage: We admit fears and how we handle them.

Art projects are a way for us to work around our own defenses. As we create in community, we see the truth of our emotions and turn over to God the things that are weighing us down or holding us back. 

We see the beauty and value that He created in us and have been in us all along. 

God sees us. He loves us. He has a unique plan just for us. And He knows who He has created us to be. 

He promises…

“God sees us. He loves us. He has a unique plan just for us. And He knows who He has created us to be. “

“…to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3, KJV

He knows who we can become. 

Who we will be when we let ourselves be transformed by His immense love and unfathomable grace. 

We hope you will allow yourself to absorb these truths and remain open to letting God create in you a new heart.

One that is tender and responsive. 

One that is vulnerable and expresses empathy and compassion. 

One that is forgiven, and forgives, and works to reconcile what is broken. 

One that is free from the shackles of shame, confident and yet humble. 

One that holds itself accountable and has the courage to face each new day.

One that creates, again and again, a new and better beginning.

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