Dear Dad — 

You and I both know how Dads can get a bad wrap but I want you to know that I won’t ever forget when I was hurting real bad and you didn’t need to find words because your arms found me and wrapped me in the longest hug and your presence was the gift of healing I needed. 

“The imperfect presence of a Father is the perfect gift every child longs for.“

The imperfect presence of a Father is the perfect gift every child longs for. I’d still know the scent of your strength anywhere. 

And true, you and I may both remember how you sometimes didn’t know how to say certain things, but you’ve got to know that I saw how you made the work of your worn hands speak, and you made the long hours and the bend of your hardworking back talk, and you made the whole of your life into selfless provision and I will forever hear the real love of your heart loud and clear.  

Men of few words can live lives that speak much. 

And I’m not sure if Dads really know that it’s true? 

A child memorizes the times a father says,”I love you” — the timbre of his voice, the certain tilt of his head and the way he bit the side of his lip to steady the depth of emotion quaking his chin. And they trace that moment in their mind, again and again, like the endless finding and fingering the comfort of a worn wooden cross tucked in a pocket, a father’s moments of honest love so much like a Father’s eternity of holy love.   

“Even the best of fathers fails a child in all kinds of ways, but they both have the backup of an all-loving Father who never does. “

Even the best of fathers fails a child in all kinds of ways, but they both have the backup of an all-loving Father who never does.  

So for all there is to say, maybe in the end there’s just 4 words that every kid wants to say to their Dad: 

Thanks

Sorry

Yes

Always 

Maybe it’s just that. 

THANKS

Thanks, Dad: Thanks for every single time you got out of bed and pulled on your pants and worked a long hard day to put food on our plates and hope in our bellies. Thanks for every single time you showed up and didn’t have to, for the times you laid down your wants for our needs and wants and dreams, for the ways you slayed inherited demons so we could inherit a different legacy, for every interior battle that you fought that no one really knew anything about, so we could win a few more battles than anyone ever really imagined. How do you thank a man for all the ways his life has become a foundation for yours? 

When you see there is always, always, always something to be thankful for, you discover that there are always more things. 

“When you see there is always, always, always something to be thankful for, you discover that there are always more things.“

SORRY

And there are more than a few things for me to say, “Sorry, Dad.” Sorry for all the times I didn’t say thank you because I was blind to what you’d sacrificed and given, sorry for the times I was an ingrate instead of in awe of the gift of the father I have, sorry for the foolish ways I talked back, dismissed your wisdom, belittled your efforts, ignored your reaches, failed to make you feel seen and honored, and I will never stop being sorry for not taking every single chance I had to tell you how much you mean to me and I love you. 

I just need to say sorry to be you because it’s true: 

A sincere apology makes anyone a master rebuilder.  Nothing brings relational restoration like saying I’m sorry. 

YES

“It’s the work of every parent to give the best they know how — and the work of every child to forgive their parents the best they can now.“

So, yes, Dad: Yes, I forgive you, yes, I completely forgive you for everything you did ask, or never asked forgiveness for, for the ways you fell short that left me wrestling long, for the messes that happened and the magic that didn’t, and I forgive you for what you couldn’t help and for all that you could. Because you and I can testify — Forgiveness is what you give to get what you need most: peace.

It’s the work of every parent to give the best they know how — and the work of every child to forgive their parents the best they can now. 

ALWAYS

So know: Always, Dad. Always loved, always thankful, always honored, always remembered, always forgiven, always held with the same grace I’ve been given, always a voice I carry within, always my Dad. 

“After all the ways that have come and gone, after all that’s been said and done —- all we have is love always.“

After all the ways that have come and gone, after all that’s been said and done —- all we have is love always. 

In the midst of every child’s beautiful, hard, perfect, complicated, tender and divine love story, maybe it just comes down to those Four Words: 

Thanks for everything, Dad… 

Sorry for everything, Dad… 

Yes, forgiven of everything, Dad… and 

Always loved, through anything and everything, dear Dad.