What if you stopped apologizing for being you,
stopped apologizing for the way you laugh only like you do,
for the way you drive your decisions like a stake into the landscape of debates,
for the way you let the thoughts that singularly unfurl in the curling neurones of your brain alone,
find their brave way to the tip of your willing tongue as wholehearted words,
for the way you say only what you can, only how you can, only you can do what you can,
for the way you look in the mirror when you get out of bed first thing
or when you crawl into bed at the end of everything —
and all your apologies for being,
and being as you are,
ended right now.
Deep repentance for what you have done is profoundly different — than deeply reviling who you are.
Praying to become more like Christ is profoundly different — than praying to become someone else.
Shame of being who you are, is an addiction to self-harm, self-destruction, and slow death by self.
Shame drives you to you desert the call, abandon the Way, abdicate and evacuate your life, and when you exit yourself, you exit God’s plan.
Shame is a bully and grace is a shield and you are safely protected behind the defense of Him naming you His Beloved. You are embraced, wrapped and protected in His Kevlar Love and you’re bullet proof against the shrapnel lies of being not enough or too much.
You aren’t too much; like the stars are never too bright, like the moon is never too large or luminous, like the wonders of the world are never too much.
You aren’t ever too much to the people who love you so much.
You aren’t too much — to the people who choose to see all of you.
You do not have to disappear. You will not have to disappear.
You aren’t alone: We all come into the world, seeking out someone — who is seeking out us. What we all want most, is someone to want us.
We all want to be seen — and see how someone’s seeking us out.
And what makes each of us feel less on the outside is knowing that we are sought out.
You are not too much. You do not have to disappear. This can change all the things beating loud in your heart, to feel the truth of this.
Feeling like you’re too much and not enough at all, is maybe the same impossibly vulnerable feeling: the vulnerability of being wholly seen just as you are — and the seeming impossibility of being wholly loved just as are.
But what if there was no fear, because Perfect Love’s moved in here?
You don’t have to become less — you only have to come and let yourself be loved by Him — and this will transform everything.
Let yourself be loved by the Lover of your soul, by the Maker of all of you, let yourself be loved by those who get you, by those who don’t get you, those who get all of you, those who get some of you, those who get to be themselves too, and let Love be enough for all our much and not enough, because the surrendered humility of Cruciform Love is the form of everything that abundantly fulfills us.
There is a place for you — a safe place for all of you. Do more than find that place. Forget that place. Trust that place. Rest in that place.
Forge somewhere safe: Lay all your heart down on the table just somewhere. And be that place for one other heart looking to see if someone’s looking for them. When a soul doesn’t feel like too much — it becomes even more beautiful.
Don’t take it down a few notches. Take risks — and take all of you to the table.
It can feel terrifying — but it is far more terrifying to live anything less than being fully seen — so His work can be fully seen in you.
The world is fixed a bit when we fix our eyes on one person’s soul, and take all of them, turn to all of them, follow all of them, seek out all of them, return to all of them.
Jesus’ eye is on the sparrow and our eyes can make every deeply dismissed place feel deeply seen.
Let yourself be fully seen? This is what you want and how you take courage, BraveSoul. Meet someone’s eyes and let them see all of you.
You can feel like you’re too much — when maybe you haven’t vulnerably shared enough. When you actually haven’t shared enough of your brave heart.
You aren’t too much; you just feel much, see much, love much.
You can breathe:
Because the world’s much too apathetic, the world need show you ferociously feel much.
Because the world’s much too distant and indifferent, the world needs how you passionately and compassionately give much of your attentive soul.
Because the world has lost much of its heart, the world needs more of us to come with so much of our heart instead of so little.
And it’s better to feel much than to feel much of nothing at all. It’s better to love with your whole broken heart than to love anything half-heartedly.
Those who are told they are too much — are those who awaken the world in much needed ways.
And it is the most beautiful to see, deeply see — a whole glory tribe stops apologizing for their large hearts — and the world stirs, awakened to abundantly more.
What do you do when you wake up and feel like you’re not enough for your life? Or when you look out the kitchen window as dusk falls and wonder how do you live when life keeps breaking your heart?
In sixty vulnerably soulful stories, The Way of Abundance moves from self-weary brokenness to Christ-focused givenness.
Christ Himself broke like bread, giving Himself to us so we might have a lifelong communion with Him. Could it be that our brokenness is also a gift to the world? These tender devotionals dare us to embrace any and all brokenness as a gift that moves us closer to the heart of God.