I’ve sat with this mama and laughed till my side hurt. And I’ve squeezed her hand tight and prayed for all we are worth. Lysa TerKeurst has a heart that loves to say yes, yes, yes to everything even when the reality of her schedule screams no, no, no. She knows what it’s like to want to be Wonder Woman but feels more like a worn-out woman. So when she put pen to paper for her new book last year, she admitted she was aching with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul because of the stress of her overwhelmed schedule. The Best Yes was born from Lysa’s desire to step out of the rhythm of rush and create space for her most treasured relationships. Lysa is a Jesus-sister who is real and honest and stunningly gifted of God — and when she speaks from the grit of her sold-out heart — I’m always all ears. A grace to welcome Lysa to the farm’s front porch today:
My marriage isn’t perfect. No marriage is.
I’ve been known to throw orange juice across the kitchen, pitch a complete fit over something totally irrational, and go silent for days.
But twenty two years has taught me love, real love, is two people deciding to stay. Work it out. Fall in love again. And fight for, not against, one another.
Each morning I have a routine with my husband. It’s simple. Nothing profound. Nothing epic.
It’s just a moment.
He asks me to help him pick a tie. He then needs gentle hands to fold the collar over.
Actually, he doesn’t need. He wants gentle hands to fold the collar over. And I do. It’s just a moment. But it’s a moment where we stop. We see what a gift imperfect love is. We find “us” in the middle of the rUSh.
And in this unrushed silence, we connect.
It’s just a moment together. Or is it?
Please don’t get an overly idyllic picture in your head of our marriage. Heavens, no.
We have plenty of those “growth opportunity” moments too. But this moment with the tie, it’s like a spot of glue ever tightening the bond between us day by day. It’s so simple, and yet something I would miss with the deepest ache imaginable if today were the last of the moments.
Tears slip as I think about this. Dear God, help me think about this. Let me snap a hundred of these moments with the lens of my heart to be stored and appreciated and thought of as the great treasures they are.
This kind of moment can only happen when we choose to experience the thrill of an unrushed yes. An unrushed yes means I’ve said no to enough other things so I can say yes to the spontaneous moments of relationship.
The beautifully messy band of people I call my own needs time together. We need unscheduled moments to connect and process—pauses in our day where we have space to let the organic process of relationships happen.
And this isn’t natural for me. I’m a task girl. I like accomplishing things. I like the thrill of moving forward, creating momentum, and getting stuff done.
But the more I choose to pause and talk and really connect, the more my soul gets filled back up.
We need time for relationships. Hebrews 10:24–25 reminds us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Relationships nourish us in ways nothing else can. It’s relationships that help unrush us. It’s relationships that matter most.
Where do we find time to do this? We can’t make time for it. We can’t find time for it. After all, no one in the history of the world has ever found more time or made more time. We all have only 168 hours a week. So, we have to get more intentional with the time we have and schedule our lives to be a little more unrushed.
As Louie Giglio said: “Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.”
I’m going to take another honest look at all the things vying for my time this week to make sure my relationships aren’t getting my less. I want to make sure it’s people, not projects that occupy the sacred places of my heart.
Leave space to linger just a bit after dinner around the sticky farm table.
Leave space for friendships less pixilated by getting off the computer and seeking more face-to-face time.
Leave space for laughter and loud singing on car rides long or short.
Leave space for the to-do lists to prioritize people, not just projects.
Leave space for the talks and walks and the crazy inside jokes.
Leave space for folding his collar over his tie.
Leave space for the unrushed yes.
Lysa TerKeurst is the New York Times best-selling author of The Best Yes, Unglued, and Made to Crave, and a speaker who helps everyday women live an adventure of faith through following Jesus Christ. She is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and has led thousands to make their walk with God an invigorating journey.
Lysa writes from her sticky kitchen table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband, Art, five kids, three dogs, and a mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.
Learn more tangible ways to leave space for your most treasured relationships and recapture the “US” in the midst of your “RUSH” with Lysa’s new book, The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands.