ugust always hurts a bit, I tell him, August with its endings.
Lying in the dark, me on his chest and him stroking my hair and us to the window, watching all to the east, all the sky flashing in white sheets of lightening like fireworks at the end of the party, I tell him this in a whisper.
“August always feels this way to me. I always want the now to go on….” I say it slow because letting go is this tender process.
“I just want the summer and babies and kids and the garden and hot night skies….” More lightening to the east.
“… Us just like this.”
“I can just feel all these endings coming.”
I tell him this and the sky cracks open. I close my eyes, this ache burning up my throat.
His voice is soft under thunder.
“So when you feel all the endings coming … begin looking for all the beginnings.”
It comes then. Rain falling on the roof, a steady thrumming of rain running down the peaks and away.
We lay listening to the rhythm of the falling rain, lay listening to the washing of the world.
We lay listening to all the new beginnings.
I am whispering thanks for endings — and giving thanks that there are always, always, new beginnings….
last of the painting of furniture
bittersweet last of the sweet corn
last book of the Bible
last of the humidity
last of back-to-school organizing
first words on a page
first of Levi’s watermelons
firstlight, over and over again, every new day
first of a new week
first of a new habit
first of the jam jar
first kiss of the morning
“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
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